It's half past midnight as I'm sat here typing this. There's a pug or two fast asleep at my feet. There's an empty glass still sitting on the coffee table. My toddler is fast asleep in bed. There's still toys scattered around the living room. I haven't even thought about doing the washing up, and the other half is taking a shower so I'm half expecting to find a damp towel dumped on the bathroom floor when I go to bed.

And I absolutely do not give a shit about any of it.

I follow a lot of house accounts on Instagram and I'm also a part of a few cleaning groups on Facebook. And you know what? I'm sick and tired of seeing show home worthy pictures plastered everywhere which suggests that that's the state their house is when they wake up and go to bed. It isn't. It's lies. It's all absolutely staged and prepped before those photos are plastered on the internet for everyone to drool over and then immediately feel guilty because why doesn't my house look like that?

Of course, people only ever want to show the good side of their lives on social media. No one posts photos of the pile of clothes sitting patiently forgotten about in a corner that you were meant to put away this morning. No one posts photos of their bathroom after their kid's bath time because HEAVEN FORBID that strangers on the internet saw that your bathroom floor has water on it. No one posts photos of their half-made bed because you simply couldn't be bloody arsed to spend 15 minutes this morning making sure all those pointless, decorative cushions that you throw off the bed at night time anyway are perfectly aligned.

I get it though. I get why people feel the need to showcase their homes as completely immaculate ALL. THE. TIME. Since the whole Mrs. Hinch / Zoflora fiasco went a bit nuts, the amount of people joining these Facebook groups has sky rocketed, and the bigger the audience, the more pressure there is to constantly portray a perfect home. I'll even go as far as admitting that I somewhat fell into this trap about 6 months ago. I would deep clean my house about 3 times a week despite the fact that I work full-time and have a daughter to look after. I would spend hours on a weekend scrubbing skirting boards and shampooing carpets only to feel internally defeated when my toddler undid all that hard work in the space of 20 minutes.

And that's kind of what made me stop.

There came a point where I would want my child to not play with her toys because I'd just spent a good half an hour making sure the living room looked spotless regardless of the fact that it was for no one's benefit other than my own. And then I stopped and told myself to get a grip.

It's a hard thing to let go of when there seems to be literally thousands of people showing off their perfectly clean homes. It makes you wonder if you should be doing more tidying up. It makes wonder if you could spare half an hour just to quickly go and tidy the bathroom. It makes you wonder if you're just a little bit scruffy.

The truth is this - you're not scruffy, or a slob, or lazy.

There comes a time when there has to be a cut off point. A moment of realisation that actually, I am pretty sure my daughter will appreciate the extra 10 minutes of cuddles and bedtime reading rather than the frantic mess of a tired mother trying to get the inside of the microwave looking spotless.

It's not entirely inaccurate these days for me to delay putting the dishes away until the morning because we're all just a bit knackered and would like to go to bed PLEASE. It's not unheard of for me to repeatedly bypass the mass of crap at the bottom of the stairs that I keep meaning to take upstairs with me but never seem to do.

Now before you start thinking gosh, she really is scruffy, I don't let unwashed plates and cups sit in the sink screaming to be washed because food and mould is growing on them and if I know someone is popping over then I'll give the place a quick tidy up (and I mean QUICK). But apart from that, if something isn't dirty, then you won't see me running towards it with antibac and a duster in hand.

And that's something I think we can all kinda sorta learn from. We all need to let go a little. Stop stressing the small stuff and just enjoy our own homes for what they are - even if that means a little bit of unnoticed dust on the skirting boards. The mess just means we live here, the dishes means we cooked and ate a family meal here, the rubber ducks on the bathroom floor means we had a whole lot of fun at bath time and the ridiculous amount of dvd cases lying around the front room means that I have a curious little person who likes to get into everything.

I used to feel guilty and stressed about the constant mess that comes with a toddler, two dogs and a man child, and sometimes I still do, but for the most part, I've found the comfort and joy of knowing this house is our home, it's where I'm raising a family and it has been and will continue to be a place where memories are made.

Is my house clean? Yes. Does my house get messy as hell? Absolutely. Is my child happy, carefree and able to be creative as she wants within these four walls? There's absolutely no doubt about it. And that's why I'm perfectly okay with a messy house.

Being a full-time working mamma, it's often hard to find the time to spend hours cooking a meal from scratch, and lately, we've been stuck in a slump of cooking the same easy weekday meals over and over again which means we're getting bored over and over again with what we're having for tea. I am one more plate of spaghetti bolegense away from turning into actual lump of pasta.

I was racking my brains a few days ago about what would be an easy, fuss-free but customisable meal that I could cook throughout the week, and after turning to the internet for inspiration, I came across a baked rice recipe that sounded AMAZING and the best thing about baked rice recipes, is that you can switch it up and come up with so many variants and alternative ingredients depending on what you fancy.

Most of the recipes I found online had the same base ingredients, so I took that as a general starting point and then I added whatever I fancied to it, and I'm glad to report that it turned out delicious.

Prep time: 15 minutes > cooking time: 25 minutes

You will need (serves 4):

500g of microwaveable rice
300g of passata
50ml of chicken stock
Smoked paprika
Garlic paste
500g diced chicken
Any vegetables of your choosing

I've always joked about how lucky my purse is that there isn't a houseplant shop close to where I live, and LO AND BEHOLD, a quirky, independent little shop dedicated solely to houseplants has recently opened up approximately 10 minutes away from where I live.

Goodbye, money.

I'd first heard about Wild on Facebook a couple of weeks before they opened. They shared pictures of the place getting done out and kept followers up-to-date on progression of the launch, and it's fair to say that I was beyond excited to see what they had to offer.

I popped into the shop on Friday 14th June (yesterday, as I am writing this) with a friend - six days after they opened, and got speaking to Jenny, who told us that the shop is joint-owned by herself, her sister and her Mum - a proper little family run business! She told us how it has always been their dream to do something like this, and finally they all said sod it and just went for it, and now here they are, with their own proper little shop that they all run together!

The shop is quite small (not unusual for Norton) but there were so many plants to choose from - some common houseplants but also some rarer ones on offer too! The space wasn't crowded though, there was enough choice to keep you interested but not enough that it was overwhelming and cluttered.



The first thing that struck me about the plants, was how affordable they were! I've always said that when it comes to plants, I don't mind paying that little bit more if it means a healthier plant in return, however, the plants all looked immaculate and they were so reasonably priced. A watermelon peperomia took my fancy that was being displayed in a hanging basket - I enquired how much the plant was without the pot as I couldn't seem to find a price for just the plant by itself, and I was told that it was £10 for both the pot and the plant together - A FLIPPIN' TENNER.

Aside from the vast array of beautiful plants they had to offer, they also had pots (of all shapes, colours and sizes), candles, cards, badges & trinket dishes available too.

Since my first trip there yesterday, I've already been back to the shop today and picked up a giant monstera deliciosa because I just couldn't resist it. It's beautiful. It's everything I want in a plant. This time, we were greeted by Jenny's sister (who for the life of me I CANNOT remember her name) and she was equally just as lovely and even gave me a free cheese plant pin as a thank you for supporting them (and for finally getting out of the shop after standing and deliberating over buying said cheese plant for about 45 minutes).

All in all, I couldn't reccommend this place enough, and I'll definitely be popping in again.

Call me crazy, but in the past week alone I've purchased not one, not two, but... six Paige Toon books.

I'm not even entirely sure why. I was sat at home one night using good old Google to research what authors people recommended and Paige Toon came out on top. People rave about her. So naturally I bought six of her books in the space of approximately four days.

Lol.

I picked up 5 of the six said books from World of Books and one brand new from Asda.

Five Years From Now

The blurb:
"What happens if you meet the RIGHT person at the WRONG time?

Nell and Van meet as children when their parents fall in love, but soon they are forced worlds apart.
Five years later, they find each other. Their bond is rekindled and new feelings take hold, but once again they have to separate.

For the next two decades, fate bring Nell and Van together every five years, as life and circumstances continue to divide them. Will they ever find true happiness? And will it be together?

One day, maybe five years fro m now, you'll look back and understand why this happened..."

This is the one that originally caught my interest as the concept sounded so intriguing and nothing like I've ever read before.

Johnny Be Good

The blurb:
"I'm Meg Stiles. This is my leaving party. And that song we're making a mockery of? That's written by one of the biggest rock stars in the world. And I'm moving in with him tomorrow.

Seriously! I am not even joking. Well, maybe I'm misleading you a little bit. You see, I haven't actually met him yet . . .

No, I'm not a stalker. I'm his new PA. His Personal Assistant. And I am off to La-La Land. Los Angeles. The City of Angels - whatever you want to call it - and I can't bloody believe it!

Celebrity PA to wild boy of rock Johnny Jefferson, Meg's glam new life in sun-drenched LA is a whirlwind of showbiz parties and backstage passes. Cool, calm Christian, in town to write his famous friend's biography, helps keep Meg's feet firmly on the ground. But with Johnny's piercing green eyes and a body Brad Pitt would kill for, how long will it be before she's swept right off them again?"

I'll be honest, this blurb doesn't really do anything for me. But the sequel to this book does, and you can't read one without the other, right?

Baby Be Mine

The blurb:
'He's not mine, is he?'

That's the question I fear the most.

You see, I have a secret. My son is not fathered by my boyfriend, but by one of the most famous rock stars that ever lived. And he doesn't even know it.

One-time celebrity personal assistant to wild boy of rock Johnny Jefferson, Meg Stiles is now settled and living in the south of France with her doting boyfriend Christian and their son Barney. But they're living a lie - a lie that will turn their lives upside down and inside out - because as Barney reaches his first birthday, Meg can no longer deny that her son is growing to look more and more like his rock star father every day, and less and less like Christian, and sooner or later, the world is going to realise..."

See, this one sounds much better, right?

The One We Fell In Love With

The blurb:
"Phoebe is caught between a rock and a hard place. Settle down and get married, or return to the French Alps to pursue her passion?

Eliza is in love with someone who is no longer hers. In fact, he probably never was… And her dream of becoming a successful musician seems to be vanishing before her eyes.

Rose is out of a job and out of a boyfriend. To make matters worse, she’s been forced to move back in with her mother…

But these very different girls have one thing in common. Angus. The one they fell in love with…"

I feel like I've seen this cover before. I had such a dave-ja-vu moment when I came across this one that I couldn't not add it to my basket.

One Perfect Summer

The blurb:
"A Dorset summer, a chance meeting, and Joe and Alice, both 18, fall into step as if they have known each other forever. But their idyll is shattered as quickly as it began. Joe leaves without warning; Alice heads off to Cambridge University and slowly picks up the pieces of her broken heart.

Years later, when she catches the attention of gorgeous, gifted, rich boy Lukas, Alice is carried along by his charm and swept up in his ambitious plans for a future together.

Until news of Joe reaches her once more, but he's out of reach in a way that Alice could never have imagined. Life has moved on, the divide between them is now so great. Surely it is far too late to relive those perfect summer days of long ago?"

I thought this sounded like an easy, summer read. Granted, it doesn't sound like most amazing story to ever be told, but I figured I'd give it a go regardless.

If You Could Go Anywhere

The blurb:
"Angie has always wanted to travel. But at twenty-seven, she has barely stepped outside the small mining town where she was born. Instead, she discovers the world through stories told to her by passing travellers, dreaming that one day she'll see it all for herself.

When her grandmother passes away, leaving Angie with no remaining family, she is ready to start her own adventures. Then she finds a letter revealing the address of the father she never knew, and realises instantly where her journey must begin: Italy.

As Angie sets out to find the truth – about her family, her past and who she really is – will mysterious and reckless Italian Alessandro help guide the way?"

This is the book I picked up in Asda. At this point I had already bought so many of her book that I figured, what's one more to add to the collection?

Title: The Choice
Author: Edith Eger
Publisher: Penguin
Publication date: 16th August 2018
Pages: 384
Genre: The Holocaust, World War II, Psychology, Non Fiction, Memoir

I finished this book in two days, and I'm a slow reader, so that's really saying something.

My great-nanna lived through WW2, and I've always been passionate about learning of this devastating period of time. I can remember listening to her fascinating stories of survival and hope through the most daunting and difficult times, the future unknown and literally just surviving one day at a time.

I think that's why I enjoyed The Choice so much. It's a tale of Edith Eger's fight for survival, both during and after being a prisoner of war in Auschwitz when she was a mere 16 years old.

Edith, her mother, and her sister Madga were put on a cattle truck and arrived at Auschwitz in 1944. She and her sister survived the selection line, but her mother did not, and was sent to the gas chambers. For the next year, Edith and Magda would face many harrowing situations, including starvation, disease, beatings, and dancing for the entertainment of the infamous Josef Mengele.

After the camp she and her sister were being held at was liberated, she was pulled from a literal pile of dead bodies to safety. But her story doesn't end there. In fact, this period of time is covered within the first 100 pages of the book. We soon learn that Edith faces a lifelong battle of finding inner peace. It's a tale of a woman, who for years and years after the war ended, refused to acknowledge her own internal torment of the things she had witnessed, the hunger she had faced, and the family she had lost.

We follow Edith's journey long after the war has ended, where she learns that the war coming to an end wasn't necessarily the end of imprisonment, that no matter how far geographically she ran from her past, it still reared its ugly head somehow, constantly reminding her of the hell she once lived through.

We see Edith liberated from war, and her struggles of accepting what has been and what might be to come. We see her struggle to make ends meet, both financially and emotionally. We hear of a woman who has yet to figure out how to cope with the internal struggle she has held on to for so many years, and how she uses these emotions to go on and become Dr. Edith Eger, who will ultimately help mentally sick people from all walks of life by delving deeper into their problems than just the surface issue - take Emma's anorexia story for example - how, yes, she has anorexia but also what is causing it (spoiler; a dysfunctional family atmosphere which ultimately forces her to feel the need to be in control of something in her life; food).

It's a tale of grief for her own mother. We hear how Edith returned to Auschwitz many years after being liberated, to say goodbye to her on the grounds where she saw her last.

It's a beautiful story, and very elegantly written. Edith clearly has a talent for storytelling, and there was rarely a dull moment in this book. The book covered so much of her life; from what her life was like before becoming a prisoner, to her survival at Auschwitz, to the birth of her children, her immigration to America, the breakdown of her marriage, to using all of her past experiences into helping other people, and finally, finding her own inner peace and learning to forgive those who caused her and her family so much pain and torture.

If you're looking for a book that solely focuses on Auschwitz, then this probably isn't the book for you. This book is more than a story, it makes you think. It makes you think about your own life choices and the ways in which you could have perhaps handled situations differently. It's a book that makes you question your own feelings and thoughts and prospects of the future.

The Choice is a book I wouldn't hesitate to recommend to anyone. There is so much depth and so much transparency to this book. It's a remarkable and thought-provoking read, and you don't necessarily need to have an interest in the war to be moved by this book.

I think this book is beautifully written, and I'm glad I've read it. We're lucky to have some insight into Edith Eger's life, because one way or another, I'm sure we can all apply a little bit of her wisdom and her passion for forgiveness into our own lives.

Verdict: ★★★★

I promised myself that 2019 would be the year I read more books, and so far I'm not doing too badly. I think my total book count this year has been 9(?) which, for a very tired, full-time working mamma, I don't think is too bad.

I started reading Me Before You a little while ago. I've been wanting to see the film for a long time, but I'm that person who needs to read the book before I watch the film (except Game of Thrones because heck no). I was debating doing a full post per book, but instead figured I would quickly recap each book in one blog post. I've been writing notes in my phone as I've going along too, so not to forget my own thoughts, so here we go!

Me Before You
I loved this book and got through it quite quickly. I instantly loved Louisa Clarke's character; her clumsy, awkward but overall determined personality worked very well against the moody and miserable portrayal of Will Traynor.

I also loved the portrayal of Louisa's family; dysfunctional yet funny and somehow works very well. I think the book was funny and light-hearted despite the serious issues it covers.

The book was also very well paced, which is one of my biggest gripes with books (& films, too!) I struggle to enjoy books that take too long to get into the actual story, but I also struggle with books that rush things along. Me Before You had a good balance; enough storyline development with each passing chapter to keep you engaged, but not enough to wonder how you skipped 5 chapters worth of unexplained storyline.

I tried not to read any other reviews of this book before reading it, and I genuinely had no idea how the story was going to end. I hoped Will would change his mind and him and Louisa would live a happily life together, but alas, that did not happen. I'm not disappointed with the ending though, in fact, I think a book hits you harder than if everything went the way you wanted it to go.

After You
After enjoying the first book so much, I was really looking forward to reading about all the wondrous adventures Louisa Clarke had gotten up to, especially given that the first book ended with a lovely, uplifting and empowering note left from Will to Louisa, but unfortunately, this was the polar opposite to how I felt about its prequel. I found it very bleak and hard to want to pick up, which is why it took me SO BLOODY LONG to get through it.

The Louisa Clarke that we came to know and love in the first book is replaced by a miserable and dulled down version of her character, which is fine, but her character is like this through the whole book (with the exception of the last 2 chapters, but still).

Throw in a stroppy 16 year old in the form of her ex employer/lover's daughter that no one knew existed until she turns up unannounced on Louisa's doorstep (and drunk at that) and it's a very miserable read.

I understand that writing about grief stricken characters doesn't exactly go hand in hand with an uplifting and exciting read, but I struggle to recall a chapter that wasn't filled with an unnecessary amount of misery.

I also felt like the whole 'Louisa's mother becomes a feminist' side story was a bit oddly placed too, and came across as a poor attempt to add in a bit of humour.

I did, however, really enjoy reading about Louisa's new love interest Sam, but I don't feel like he was in the book enough to warrant really getting to grips with his character. I really wish there was more of him in this book, in fact, it might have been its saving grace, but sadly, this is one book I'm glad to have just gotten out of the way.

Still Me
I had a bit of a break between finishing After You and picking up Still Me. I need to re-emphasise how much I really didn't enjoy the last book, so much so that it put me into a bit of a reading slump. Thankfully, however, Still Me was worlds apart from After You.

Louisa has jetted off to New York to work for the Gopniks (or more so Agnes Gopnik to be her PA/paid companion/whatever you want to call it), however things aren't as they seem and Louisa soon learns there's a lot of secrets going on in this family in the form of Agne's secret four year old daughter living in Poland (seriously, two secret daughters in one trilogy?!)

I really disliked Agnes. In fact, I really, really disliked her. But I think that's the point. I love to hate a character and I think Jojo Moyes set her character up perfectly for it.

Having said that, I absolutely LOVED Mrs De Witt (the Gopnik's older, blunt and to the point neighbour) - I thought she was sassy and witty and I absolutely loved that her and Louisa became friends (and roommates) in the end.

I also really enjoyed the rocky relationship between Louisa and Sam. I loved the fact that their relationship wasn't painted out to be perfect, I think it would have been a bit unbelievable - and frankly a little bit boring - if it had been. I loved the fact that they broke up and Louisa starting dating a Will Traynor lookalike in the form of Josh, even though I really disliked his character in the end.

Having said that, I did enjoy the ending of Sam and Louisa finding each other again, despite the fact it was over-the-top and a bit love sicky - but this is a book and a romance-kinda-book at that, so there had to be a some cliche rom-com this-would-never-happen-in-real-life moment, didn't there?

Final thoughts
This trilogy took me longer to get through than I'd have liked to admit, and I'm plainly putting that down to After You.

Do I think this trilogy needs a fourth book? Absolutely not. Was the ending left wide open for a fourth book? Absolutely.

And I'd probably read it, too.

I did enjoy these books, and reflecting back them, Louisa's character development was brilliant, and Will Traynor somehow was at the forefront of each book, despite him dying in the first one, but it wasn't in a boring oh-will-you-let-it-go-and-move-on kinda way, but more so as a reminder that someone who is no longer alive can still have such an important impact on your life and your ability to never give up, even when times prove tough.

I would recommend them with the warning that the second book is a drag, but I did actually enjoy them as a whole.

Verdict: ★★★